Women

Women can be funny. But sometimes its the stuff that they don’t mean to be funny, that makes me laugh the most.

Women, you've got to love em. Some of the stuff they can come out with is as equally beguiling and maddening as it is addictive, in a way.

Like once, right, I woke up with my girlfriend and she started having a go at me.

She started having a go at me because she dreamt that I said that she had fat ankles.

And I was like, ‘What? But I didn't actually say that though.’

She said, ‘Yes you did, in my dream. You said it. You said I had fat ankles!’

I said, ‘But it was your dream.’

‘Yes, in which you said I had fat ankles,’ came the snipey reply.

And I just couldn't get out of it, she just wasn't having it. That was it then, I was guilty of that crime.

That was it.

I was in the doghouse for days. And she never forgot it, ever.

It would always piss her off whenever she remembered it. It was just crazy, because of how it made her feel, like actual reality didn't matter.

So funny. You know?

And for days I was having to tread on eggshells about it.

Now the reality is that she didn’t have fat ankles, she just had normal bloody ankles. But I'd never even really thought about her ankles before, and now suddenly I found myself really thinking about them and saying stuff like, ‘Actually, you know what, I really like your ankles. I really do like them!’

Didn’t make a difference.

And like also, how can someone have fat ankles?

I guess, if you have fat ankles the chances are you have fat everything else and therefore they wouldn’t be worth even mentioning. But no one can just have fat ankles. It just doesn’t make sense.

Anyways, yeah, so I was walking on eggshells for days.

I still find that so funny.